Friday, April 29, 2011

Introducing... the Princess

Did you watch the Royal wedding? I didn't get up to watch it at 3:00am, but I am watching those re-runs and re-caps and all that. I think there's something almost magical about the Royal Wedding. The guests arrived, the groom, and Prince Harry, took their places, and then, the beautiful Bride. There she is, the soon to be Princess Kate, stunning. The dress, the cake, the church, everything was beautiful. Today, a common girl became a Princess. Maybe she dreamed of being a princess when she got older, like most little girls. There she was, before just a regular girl, now a Princess. The world watched as Kate Middleton became Princess Kate. There has to be something special about her if the whole world watched her wedding. There has to be something magical and captivating and beautiful. Today, Kate became a Princess. She became a wife. I can only imagine that moment, when the whole world was watching her, and she was watching her groom. A real life fairytale. Or we would like to think so. She get's it all, the Prince sweeping her off her feet, every little girl's dream. Does that mean there's no luck for everyone else? Who won't marry princes and live in castles and become princesses? And then I realize. I am a Princess. Maybe I don't get to wear a crown or have a royal wedding, but I am a Princess. I am God's Princess, His Beautiful Bride. To Him, I am stunning. I am the One He can't help but marvel over. I am His, and one day, I will go and live in the castle. Like Cinderella, I will be taken away and live with my King. So I started out as a commoner. I started out as just another girl. Then my Prince came and won my heart and I became something more, a Princess. I may not get the crown or a royal wedding or a horse drawn carriage, but I am a Princess. Just a simple girl, falling in love with a Prince and becoming... A Princess

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

All that is bitter and sweet

Today, I was sitting down to do school. a normal occurance in a day of the life of me. So I picked up my math book, and after spending nearly 10 minutes trying to figure out this stupid thing, I decided to consult the answer key. I don't normally do this, but today's problems were really tough, and sometimes just looking at the answer key and seeing how they did a problem helps me figure it out too. So I was looking at the answer key. and I sort of got it. But After about 6 of these dumb problems, I realized my blood sugar was dropping. Good reason to stop math? I think so. I finished up the page and shut the book, going on to make myself a bagel. SO... Here's what I think. I shouldn't have to do anymore of this math if it makes my blood sugars go low. I know it's a shot in the dark, and I probably won't stop, but it sounds good at the moment. Once I get it, I actually like it. It's the learning part that's hard. And I think my math book could explain it better. Or at least use those little cartoon picture things. Yeah, it's safe to say math was not my friend today. Sometimes it is, but today, it was not.
But... what I am thankful for today...

  • Missions team meeting tonight!!!

  • Today, at coffee break, I spent the morning spoiling little girls. A great start to any day

  • Hiding Easter eggs, a cheap thrill

  • Yummy food

  • Getting music that is, supposedly, going to make me smarter (see if it works)

  • Great friends that make me happy

  • Now, relaxing. What's that saying about all work and no play? Well, this is the play part :)

Have an amazingly wonderful rest of the day, and don't forget to smile (Even if you are faced with evil math books that are out to get you)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My New Dream

Over the years, there have been so many things I've wanted to be. A Nurse, a pharmasist, a marine biologist, a dolphin trainer, an author, a journalist, the list goes on. But I've always known I wanted to do something that helped people, that touched their lives and made them better. I've always wanted to touch the broken and bring healing, I just didn't know how I was supposed to do that. Then it came to me. I was laying on the floor, like I usually do when I want to think, just stretched out and staring up at the white ceiling. And then it was there, just a tiny voice, whispering, surgery. Pediatric Cardiothorasic Surgery. It was a crazy thought, just a passing notion, but it was there none the less. Pediatric Surgery. One career path that had never crossed my mind. So I took the whisper and put it into the back of my mind, moving on to other things. Every time I thought about it, I got that feeling. Bubbly, like soda spilling over the top, excited, happy, passionate, determined, and I felt peace. Somehow that passing thought became my new dream. It became what I wanted with every part of me. All the other plans I had for my life took a back seat. I *knew* that this was what I wanted to do. Surgery. It still sounds crazy. But when I think of it, I get that feeling, and I want it. *THAT* is what I want to be. I know I'm still young. I know it's a lot of work. I know. But then there's the whisper. You can do this. Maybe this is where you're supposed to be, this is what you're supposed to do. You can do this. Don't give up. I know things will change. But then there's that whisper, that peace, that feeling. and I know I can. If I want this, if I truely want this, I can. I can do this, because I can do anything, in Christ who gives me strength.
I don't know where the future will take me. But I know I can. I know that if this is really where I'm supposed to be, I'll end up there. It won't be easy. I don't need easy, I just need possible.
So here I am, considering this thought. Chasing after this idea that has become my new dream. It's my new dream. And I can. Because I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Just a new post and a quote

So Sometimes I'll go to my blog and look at the last post I wrote, and it annoys me. Don't ask me why, it just does. I hate seeing the same thing for so long. It just really get's on my nerves. I can't stand not having a new post. So here's a new post, just so I can relax and not be so annoyed when I look at my blog home page.

"Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want"

Friday, April 22, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Best Friend Promises

Just finished having a 'virtual coffee time' with my best friend. It was good talking. And I didn't realize how much I missed her until we started talking. Now I wish she was here so we could really talk. We talked about the future, and how time goes by so fast. We've known each other since Kindergarten. and now we're in high school. Thinking about college and getting married and starting our own families. Somewhere along the line we grew up? When did that happen? I'm lucky to have a best friend like her. It was funny how, even though we're so far apart, we were thinking about some of the very same things. We're not little girls anymore, being there and dreaming of now. we're here, and somehow it's not like we imagined. Our conversations aren't about those little girl things anymore. they're about college and marriage and families and growing up and those days when we were little without a care in the world. When did that change? Life is an awfully cold place to not have a best friend. and I'm honored and blessed to have a best friend like mine. You're making me cry now, Cai, good job! :) Things changed and we both grew up. And somehow we're still connected. Our conversations have changed and we're taller, but we're still the same forever friends. Thanks, Cai, for being my best friend. Life would be awfully lonely without you. You get me. We're connected. And throughout the years, we've managed to stay that way. You're my best friend, and I hope it stays that way. As we grow up and really do go to college and get married and have our own families. I hope we always stay connected at the heart.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

I was looking for a picture for this Wednesday having to do with Easter. I typed the word Easter into my search bar, clicked images, and watched as pictures of bunnies and easter eggs filled my screen. To find this picture, and any picture of the cross, I clicked on religious easter. Have we really lost the true meaning of Easter?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Hitting the Road!!!

So yesterday, I went out driving. I drove to my auntie's house from the Teepee creek corner. I did pretty good, for my first time, considering it was on a highway. I was speeding, a little bit. (Not on purpose!) I almost knocked off a few guard rails. Almost went into the ditch. Didn't stop for someone crossing the street. (In my defense, she was in the ditch when I looked!) But over all, I think I did pretty good. It is a lot harder then it looks. Plus I'd never practised before and then I got put out on the highway, with other vehicles, and hills, and people crossing the road, and deer. Let's just say I think I'll be practising in the field before I ever try the highway again. But I didn't get stopped by the police (yay!!!) or hit anything or drive into the ditch. We arrived all in one piece. My dad, who was sitting in the passenger seat, did not die of a heart attack. It wasn't a bad first time. But highway, with no experience, not something I'd do again. Over all, I had a good time. Driving is fun (and hard and scary and makes you think and made my blood sugar drop cause I was thinking so much) and I think I'll enjoy it once I get the hang of it. The first time didn't go bad, which I was thankful for. I've had my learners since February and I guess I always knew I would have to drive some day. And starting on the highway, I guess I got thrust into everything all at once. Fun, Scary, Tiring. All I can say is watch out drivers (and pedestrians and wild life) of the Peace Region. Alisha is hitting the road!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I am... Imperfect

I’m not a perfect girl. My hair doesn’t always stay in place and I spill things a lot. I’m pretty clumsy and sometimes have a broken heart. My friends and I sometimes fight and maybe some days nothing goes right. but when I think about it and take a step back, I remember how amazing life truly is and that maybe, just maybe I like being imperfect.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


No kid wants to be special. I mean, when you’re a kid, and as you grow up and enter your teen years, no one wants to be special. You want to be average, you want to be normal, and you want to fit in. But you don’t want to be special, unique or different from everyone else. No kid wants to be special. When I was little I used to wish on stars, on birthday candles, on wish chips, to just be like everybody else. I wanted to be normal, I wanted to fit in. I would just wish to have a chance at a normal life. It might be just me, but I don’t think that’s what normal kids wish for on their birthdays, a chance to live without being in the prison of their disease. But I would wish that I would be normal. I didn’t want to be special. I wanted to fit in. I didn’t want to live in a world of hospitals and tests and doctors. I wanted to live in a world where I had no limits. Where I could do everything, be everything and no longer be in this prison. As I’m growing older, I don’t wish for that anymore. The only limits I have are the ones I set for myself. I may not feel like it some days, but it’s true. I can do anything I set my mind to. I don’t need wishing stars or birthday candles. I am going to fight. I am going to fight and win. Not on wishing stars, but by fighting. I am going to fight every day, and when I don’t think I can fight anymore, I’m going to keep going and fight anyways. I am not going to give up. I am going to win this battle. Not by wishing it away, but by fighting with everything I am.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Beauty from Pain

I was watching some old home movies today. I was watching them, and watching me, but it was like I was watching someone else. I was watching me, watching the easy way I was talking about being sick a lot and being in the hospital a lot. and it was like I was watching someone else. I know that I was watching me. But it was like I wasn't. I wasn't connecting the two, even though it's the same person. I was watching me, and my heart was breaking for this little girl who so easily talked about being sick. No little kid should talk so easily about being sick. About being in the hospitals so much and being sick lots. I was watching her/me, and I was hurting for her. I didn't want her to have to live like that, not when she was so young. I was hurting for her, because she was so little, and she should just get to be a kid. She shouldn't be talking so easily about being sick. I was watching her/me, and thinking it wasn't fair. And then, something clicked, and I realized that the little girl was me. I realized that the girl who was talking so easily about sickness and hospitals, was me. This girl who was having to deal with being sick when she should just be dealing with being a kid, was me. And my heart was breaking for her. I realized, watching little me, that a lot of people would say the same things about me right now. I should just be dealing with being a teenager. Not being sick. Not doctors and tests and constantly being aware. Lots of people would say that I'm too young for that. and maybe I am. But it feels normal to me. A little girl, a teenager, having to worry about being sick. ALL THE TIME. that's not fair, is it? It doesn't seem fair. I'm too young. That girl in the home movies is too young. It's not fair. But who said this world was fair? Growing up sick, as unfair as it is, has taught me so much, given me so much. It has taught me that I'm stronger then I know. It has taught me that the only limits I have are the one's I set for myself. It's showed me who I am. I've questioned God, and seen miracles. I've met so many people I would have never met otherwise. I've grown and changed, and learned that every single day counts, because it could be your last. I've learned, and am still learning, to never take anything for granted. I've learned what's importent in life. I've seen God's power in very real ways. And I know, that in the times when I can't deal with this anymore, that God's grace is enough for me. He'll be strong when I can't. He'll hold me when I can no longer stand. I've learned so much. So, as unfair as it all is, with all the times I just want to be normal, with all the times I don't want to have to be strong anymore, even with all of that, I wouldn't trade it. Because when I focus on the blessings and the opportunities, I don't think I would change a thing. I have seen Beauty rise from Pain

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Choices. Life is full of them. Big one's, little one's, one's that could change your life forever. Yes or no. Up or down. In or out. To love or hate. To fight of give in. To live or die. We all come to a cross road. Two choices, one possible outcome. Which road? And what if we make the wrong choice? So many what if's. People can tell you what they think you should do, but in the end, it's your choice. You decide. When you were little, your parents made every choice for you. What you should wear on sundays, what you were going to eat, who was going to come and you were going to play with. But as you get older, people expect you to make your own choices, and the choices get harder. We are suddenly responsible for our own future, and that's a scary idea. Sometimes we don't even know what the right choice is. And sometimes, the lines are so blurred we can't even tell if we're making the right choice. Choices mean that everything could change. and I don't 'do' change. Change is scary. Change means you are leaving behind what you know and are venturing out into a new world. Choices mean change, and change means scary. In short form, that means Choices are scary. Choices mean new. New means leaving what we have, stepping out and believing that, maybe, things will be better on the other side. Choices can change everything. And there's always the thought 'what if I make the wrong choice.' and that's scary. Having your future, your life, in your hands and knowing that whatever you choose is going to affect it. It's a big responsibility. And somewhere along the line, all those choices fall on you. no one's going to make these choices for you. You're growing up. You are forced to make your own choices, and things will change. You're not in that safe place anymore. You are coming out on your own. You are on your own. It's your life, your future, your game. YOURS. Choices mean change and change means scary. It's good to be scared. It means you have something to lose. Here's the thing. Sometimes, change is good. Sometimes those choices you make that change everything are necessary for taking a step forward. So make that choice. Yes, everything could change. Yes, you could make the wrong choice. Yes, that is scary. But would you rather stay where you are, forever? Choices are necessary to help us grow. They change us. You grew up and you are in charge, of your life, of your future. It's your choice. Which road you take is up to you. It's up to you. You are on your own. So be on your own. Make this choice and welcome the change it brings. One choice. Two options. One result. You have to pick one. Yes or no. Up or down. In or out. To love or hate. To fight or give in. To live or die.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Perfect People

There's no such thing as perfect people there's no such thing as a perfect life So come as you are, broken and scarred Life up your life and be amazed and be changed By a perfect God

Monday, April 4, 2011

Smiles and Blessings

make sure to smile today :) Even when everything seems like it's going wrong, there's always something to be thankful for. Today is not a good day. It's stressful and crazy, and I'm exhausted. It seems like everything is going wrong, and I'm ready to just lay in the sunshine and sleep. But then I saw this quote this morning, written by my friend, on her caring bridge page. I wish I could tell you I saw this and it changed my whole day. It didn't. I wish I could say I was finding little things to be thankful for, but I'm not. Every time I ignore those tiny blessings, I just feel a little bit guilty. It's so easy to overlook them, to focus on what's bad, instead of all those tiny things that make the day good. I know, because I've been there. I'm there right now. But I know there has to be something in this day worth being thankful for. I know there has to be something out there. So I'm going to step around the mess, step out of the crazy, and step outside. I am going to feel the sun on my face, and smile. I am going to look at the world around me, and see all those little blessings, that God has put there, just to remind me that He loves me. And maybe, on a day where everything seems to be going wrong, that will be enough. He loves me, and that is enough. He's holding me, because I can't stand any longer. and I'm going to smile, because He loves me. So I challenge you, just like my friend challenged me, find one thing that makes you smile today. One thing that you can be thankful for. Maybe you'll be having a day like mine, where the only thing that you can be thankful for is that God loves you, and that you're not alone. And that's ok. Because He loves you, and that is more then enough

Saturday, April 2, 2011

My heart speaks lyrics

Ok, my friend Emii inspired me to do this, because she did one on her own blog. So here it is. Lyrics. Songs. I'll give you a line or two of a song and... you've gotta tell me what it is. the rules: -- No Googling Ok, here's the lyrics. You tell me what song it is. Ready... If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? See if you guys can get it. It might be kinda hard, I don't know how popular this song is or whatever, but it's been stuck in my head since Thursday (Hint hint) Just give me the name of the song. Ready.... GO!