Friday, January 27, 2012

7 quick takes

1. I never thought I would be one to do 7 quick takes. But it seems as though this day is in need of 7 quick takes, if I want to blog at all. So here's my first edition of 7 quick takes, and we'll see where it takes me.

2. I had my last exam yesterday, and got my grades today. Passed all 3 of my courses, with my highest grade coming in (Of all things) math. I am so proud of myself and all the work I've done this year, and the grades I've come out with at the end of this semester. I am so ready for these few days of break before the next semester starts, but I am equally as ready to see what this next semester has in store for me.

3. Last night was a rough night for me. I was sick, and felt like I'd just been run over by a truck. I was tired, and irritable, and angry at people who really didn't even do anything. I stayed home instead of going out, and despite how needed that rest was for me I still felt upset about not being able to do all these things that 'normal' people do. It was one of those nights when there really isn't anything to do, except wait, and try to keep yourself from breaking right down the middle, and pray tomorrow will be better.

4. Yesterday after my exams, my mama and I went out for lunch and to do some shopping. If you know me, you know I can't pass up the opportunity to go into a book store. So we went into the bookstore, and I picked up a really interesting book. It's called Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult. I won't spoil too much, but I'm really loving it so far.

5. In the book I mentioned above, the little girl in the story, Willow, has this wierd ability to recite facts. She loves facts, and I've loved learning about all these new facts while I'm reading this book.In the book, in one part, Amelia (Willow's sister) says "I was starting to see why you carried around those stupid facts like other kids dragged around security blankets- if I repeated them over and over, it almost made me feel better. I just wasn't sure if that was because it helped to know something, when the rest of my life seemed to be a big question mark, or because it reminded me of you." So last night, when I was lying awake wracking my brain to think of some way to calm myself down enough so I could relax, I started reciting facts. It was kind of a silly thing to do, especially at 12:30am when your heart is beating so fast you can hear it echoing in your ears and everyone else is asleep and the world around you it pitch black, but it worked. Maybe knowing something when your life feels like a big question mark might help you too. Here's a few of my favorites from the book: Frogs have to close their eyes to swallow, Fourty thousand people get hurt by toilets every year, If you need substitute for blood plasma, you can use the goop inside coconuts, Dissolvable stitches are made from animal guts, a man who went over Niagra Falls in a barrel in 1911 and broke nearly every bone in his body later slipped on a banana peel in New Zealand and died from the fall.

6. In regards to my book, yes it's almost done. My Mom's friend (And my friend's mom) is going to read it and help me with any final touches, and then we just have to put it all together (As in I need to get the final copy of the cover, and design it the way I want it on CreateSpace and then send it in and then I can order the proof) If I want to get my free copies I need to have it in by June, but I don't see that as being a problem.

7. so that wraps up my first edition of 7 quick takes. I hope I didn't bore anybody to death with all my rambling

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Exams and Gypsy's

I'm knee deep in midterms. It's an average occurance in the life of a high schooler, I guess, but I have to think there's a better way to test a student's knowledge on the course then to sit them down in a room, hand them a stack of papers full of questions and tell them they only have 2 and a half hours (In my case anyway) to complete this exam, and this test will make up 30% of their final grade. It's a nerve wracking experience. I'm done 2 out of 3 exams (My last one is tomorrow) and passed them both, which is great. The 2 I've already submitted, they were submitted through a program called quizstar which grades it immediatly. So I entered my answers, paced the floor, took a deep breath, put my finger on the submit button but didn't press it until I was turned away from the computer. I pressed submit, walked away, then came back. My heart was racing and I was so nervous and then... the moment of truth. I passed both exams, but the nervous feeling I experienced before I pressed submit is something I don't really like.

In other news, our house sold. Yep, we're moving again. I can go back in my blog history and find the entry in which I wrote about our coming to THIS house. But now we're moving again, at least that's how it's looking. I almost feel like somebody should start calling me a gypsy because we've moved every 2 years since I was born. Maybe that's a good thing, because for all my life I've been forced to think of home as people, not as a place.

One more thing before my study fried brain decides to shut down. Remember a while ago when I posted that video of the girl after her endoscopy? (If not, you can check it out here.) That girl has a blog called chronicles of the chronically ill, which I've been following, and loving. She takes the words right out of my mouth when it comes to describing the life of someone with a chronic illness. As most of you probably know by now, I love sharing links to posts that inspire me, make me think or just posts that I love. So if you have time, check out this post.

Monday, January 23, 2012

The Sidewalk...

This weekend I went to Calgary. It's right before exams (Which start tomorrow) and right in the middle of everything else going on in my life, and I was worried before about how everything would work.
On Saturday around supper time, Cairo's mama (Cairo's been my best friend since before kindergarten) was going to a 40 days for life meeting. 40 days for life, for those of you who may not know, if a pro-life organization. A while ago I linked you all to a post I wrote that was published on the 40 days for life Calgary blog. (If you missed reading that, you can check it out Here)
Anyway, Cairo and I decided to go with her to this meeting. I had wanted to go to a meeting for a while, and to be part of this whole 40 days for life thing. So we got into the vehicle and started driving to the place where this meeting would be held, right across the street from the clinic. We arrived there a bit early, and decided to walk across the street to stand on the sidewalks across the way from the clinic and pray.
It was cold, the kind of cold that only January winters in Alberta can bring, but that wasn't why I was shaking inside my thick coat. It was standing on the sidewalk that it all felt so real to me. Everyday, thousands of tiny lives are ended, right inside those doors. And right on the other side of those windows, women walk out forever changed.
I always knew it was real before, but standing on the sidewalk, it was more real then it's ever been for me. I felt my heart aching, for everything that takes place inside those walls. I wanted to cry out and ask God "What are we doing? Why are we, as the country of Canada, and as a nation, doing this?" I didn't do that, but instead prayed silently, for everything that happens inside those walls. I prayed that we would be a nation who sees, and a nation who does. I prayed for every woman who walks in those doors thinking there's no other way, and that she would see hope. And with the absence of words, I simply prayed "Dear God."
We only stayed on the sidewalk for a few minutes, but in those minutes I felt something I'd never felt before, not only having a clearer view of what's going on, but a call to action.

Life is precious, no matter what.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Not a perfect girl...

I'm a normal person. I guess when I'm reading other people's blogs I think "Are they really that happy, that optimistic, that... perfect?" I'm definatly not a bright, shiny, perfect person. I'm real, I'm a teenager, I mess up, I say things I don't mean, I fight with my siblings and I yell at my parents. I've been having a rough little while. I've had symptoms flare up, been to see doctors, had more medical tests ordered and am studying for finals. I've been irritable and moody but none of that justifies what I did. I got mad over something that now seems so stupid, which was sitting in the middle seat in the back of the truck. I was upset, I'd sat in the middle yesterday. So I did what all stressed, irritable teenagers do (at least I hope I'm not the only one!) and yelled, at pretty much anyone who would listen. I can't even remember everything I said, ahem yelled, but all the anger I had, the frustrations I felt, even if it wasn't related to this middle seat incident, it all came out. I was told to stop, but I didn't. I went on, pushing it one step further. I was mad, and so I got consequences (Part of which you'll find out is writing this blog post) I did, eventually, get in the car, and even in the middle seat. Just goes to show you that 1. I am so not a perfect girl who has it all together. and 2. actions have consequences. so I was having a bad day/ bad couple of days. I still screwed up and didn't have the right to take all my anger out on my family.
"Failure doesn't mean you fail as a person, it means you're growing."

warning: I had to write this post as punishment. nothing I say can be used against me in a court of law

Friday, January 13, 2012

Finding Sunshine on a cloudy day...

Recently I discovered a blog and some videos on youtube by this wonderful woman who has chronic illnesses. She's pretty amazing, and I love hearing what she has to say because it is so true. I've really related to her and what she has to say. If you have time I encourage you to check out some of her other videos, and maybe even her blog, as they may give you an insight into the world of the chronically ill.
Here's one of the videos I watched, and loved. Fast forward to about the 1:30 mark and it goes to about 6 minute mark and see what I'm talking about. It's this girl coming out of anesthesia after her endoscopy and it reminds me so much of me after I had mine! I found it funny, but apparently I was just as bad when I came out after having mine, so that makes me a bit worried...

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Just another Tuesday...

Photo Courtesy of Nichelle Mcgeorge-kercher

Photo Courtesy of Jessica from Jessica C Photography

Photo Courtesy of Jessica from Jessica C photography

Friday, January 6, 2012

Popcorn and Pedicures

Today I went to see my mentor, Paula. We usually try to get together on Friday's, and since I'm still on Christmas break (Don't go back till Monday) I was able to arrive on her doorstep at 10:30. Jaxon came along to play with her daughter and we set up the foot baths, poured the coffee, popped the popcorn and snuggled down into the chairs in the living room. I stayed there for nearly 4 hours. We talked, and painted our nails, and ate. My toes are happily painted in blue with shimmering sparkles, and my feet are soft, but more importently, my soul is refreshed. Despite how lovely it is to go there and take care of myself, when I go there I get something more then happy feet.
I love it there, her little house. I love the old barnwood style floors, and the word create on the wall with the definition. I love the organized chaos. But more then that, I love the people. When I'm there I feel safe. I don't have to think, or care. I don't have to pretend, or hide. I can be me, and I can relax and let my guard down for a while, and just be.

P.S, Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice both started again last night! Finally, my Mcdreamy addiction was fufilled!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Washing Feet and Changing Hearts

I read a blog post today about my friend, and why she chose not to go on a missions trip to Vancouver. She recognized the need in her own community, and wanted to help there. I'm proud of her, for putting out there what she thought. At the bottom of the post was a link to a set of articles on short term missions and the negative aspects. I think it's safe to say I wasn't in agreement with those articles. I agree, some churches do missions trips like some college kids do spring break - hanging out on the beaches. They get support for being "Good Christians" and going on a missions trip. They raise thousands of dollars, and go to some place where they do charity work and pretend that they are so much better then these people. I agree with that, because some churches DO do missions trips like kids do spring break. But the way these articles were written I felt like all short term missions teams were grouped together. Some of the title headings of these articles were "Sorry poor people, it's not about you." and "using your poor kids to teach my rich kid a lesson." I'll let you take from these articles what you will, but I was offended at the way she handled this.

I was contemplating writing this article before what happened this afternoon. This afternoon Uncle Trevor came by. For those of you (Ok for most of you) who don't know who Uncle Trevor is, he worked at Grace Point, the Church plant we worked at while we were in inner city Winnipeg. He was down for a family gathering (He's the brother of the pastor at our church) and they borrowed some stuff so they came by to drop it off. I didn't think I was going to see him before he left, so having him drop by was a nice surprise.

I think what our team did on the missions trip wasn't like kids let loose for spring break. The trip wasn't about us, it was about the people we were going there to serve. Sure, it changed my heart and the way I look at life, but it wasn't about me. I was there to serve, and to love and I felt God calling me there to love His children. that was why I went. It was never about me. Would I say it made a lasting impact on me, yes. It has changed the way I look at life. Still, 6 months later, I am finding all these little effects that have come up from the missions trip. and yes, it did teach me to be grateful for what I have, but so does looking at pictures of people in third world countries. What I learned was bigger then just being grateful. It was more then just going there to have a spiritual experience and for me, even though I did end up getting so much out of it. There is so much more I could say on this subject, but I'll finish with this. I did get so much out of it, and I did gain appreciation for my life and I did have those spiritual moments, but I served, and I loved, and I laughed, and I played, and I learned.

John 13: 12-14

When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.

If you want to read the article I mentioned written by my friend, you can find it here:

This also includes the link to those other posts I was talking about